What have I fallen into?

I read a lot of blogs of friends telling of their faith journey.  Almost all of them deal with loss.  Some of us took a hammering, lost our best friends, were uprooted out of the group that loved us and had to move on to the unknown.  For some, the past months and years were lonely years. 

We talk about our loss a great deal.  Our loss.  Large quantities are being written about this.  We can describe every detail.  We certainly know what we came out of. 

I want to reflect on what I believe is more important and that is: Did we only lose?  Did we simply stumble into a life-sized emptiness?  The wilderness.  The dessert.  The short walk to nowhere that keeps going on forever?

Or….Did we gain anything?  “What have we fallen into?”

I think I read this quote somewhere, if not, I actually thought this one out  🙂 (Please tell me if you know who said this.)  It is one thing to stand in the sun and feel the warmth on your back.  It is another thing to fall into the sun. 

The same applies to Jesus and us.  Scores of us go to weekly gatherings, feeling the warmth of the Son on our backs.  It’s nice to know He is here somewhere and that makes us happy.  Gradually for some, high-speed for others however, the environment has changed.  The warmth is gone.  In this process, we can find ourselves in 2 places.  One is cold dessert where we long for what was.  The other is a falling into the Son. 

In the first instance, we can trace back what went wrong.  Why did all those awful things happen?  Perhaps, we can create a better Egypt.  We can have a place whare all the slaves are equal.  Perhaps a smaller Egypt will be the right thing.  Perhaps then, every slave will be seen as an individual that is important part of the mechanism.  No longer will the slave be overlooked or taken for granted.  No, we will create a place where all slaves can be valued.  Egypt after all is not that bad.  We were fed.  Ok, Ok… we had food.

The second option is to fall into the Son.  That means, life as we knew it, is over.  Jesus will become the whole lot.  The Everything.  When we fall into Jesus, warmth, ceases to exist.  Destruction.  Consumed.  Decreasing.  We lose.  Only “I am” is left.  Love.  Freedom.  Forgiveness.  Delight.  Silence.  Endurance.  Kindness.  Righteousness.  Vast open spaces.  Friendship.  Closeness.  Gentleness.  Playfulness.  Good humor.  The end of loneliness.  These are some of the puzzle-pieces of the Person I worship, that have I have “gained”. 

Did we only leave because it was bad?  Or did we leave because of a hunger that was never satisfied? Turns out, we have the opportunity to fall into Jesus.  We do not always know what this means, but it is the ongoing adventure of the windblown people.


5 thoughts on “What have I fallen into?

  1. Abmo,
    Yes, it is easy to focus on the loss, loneliness, disorientation of the journey into something new. Thanks for the reminder that we aren’t called back to a new and improved version of Egypt, but invited to fall into Jesus. It’s scary, but what my heart longs for in the better moments.

  2. The paragraph that starts with the words “In the first instance, and the second one that begins with, “The second option,” are the two places that I find myself pulled back and forth between like someone playing tug of war with my heart. I know the answer (with my head) but my heart continues to be pulled back and forth. It is so hard to let go of the Egypt I have always known. No wonder the people drove Moses crazy!

  3. The Cross. It is the Cross!!. When we embrace it, we lose. When we deny it, we win…we do not want to win, because when we win, we end up missing Egypt.
    Only the cross, breaks the longing and after the cross, Glory!!!

  4. YES!
    this is exactly my point. When you write about re- creating Egypt!

    We tried to have a small group worship at our home and what we saw was a bunch of people trying to be the “honored” positions of our last church group. It was as if instead of leaving the church because we were called to a new land- they left the church because they weren’t in the glorified positions and wanted to recreate the very church- with them as head.


    For me, I need to add a third option.

    I am standing over the hole of the fall that you write about.

    I am analyzing it, looking into it, wanting proof that if I let myself drop- I am really falling into Jesus.

    See, I have dived before…..and well, falling into egypt wasn’t a great experience.

    So, do I look back? Mostly for the relationships that was lost- and at times the money.

    I have come to realize that the relationships lost couldn’t have been too valuable- or they would still be here.

    I have no desire at all to return to Egypt.

    But neither will I fall into a new hole until I know for sure that what I drop into is worth it.

    great post.

  5. Hi Jane,

    I can understand your hesitancy. Falling into Egypt is not my idea of fun either. But falling into Jesus is not always choice. Sometimes we are pushed. 🙂 And Jesus is not about guarantees.

    A question I love to ask people is “If you are the only person on this planet, what will your relationship with Jesus look like?” Falling into Jesus is about Jesus alone. Other people are not included. And I think He alone is worth it.

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