Funny quotes

As I’ve said before I love quotes and here are a few funny ones.

Joe Martin  –  “If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”

Henry Kissinger  –  “The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault.”

Bill Lyon  –  “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”

Beryl Pfizer  –  “I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.”

Willie Tyler  –  “The reason lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.”

Henny Youngman  –  “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

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