I dream of more time

This year is storming forward.  Time is going faster than it should be.  I thought there was time to do stuff, only to find out, I was wrong.    Why am I talking about time?  Well, because my favorite blogger died.  And I am not ready for his death.  I still wanted to read some of his posts.  I wanted to him to be healthy again.  I wanted lots of things for him, but as it turns out, dreams are sometimes only dreams.

Everybody knows it by now, but Michael Spencer (I-Monk) died two days ago.  I will miss him terribly.  I found his blog about three years ago while looking for a few quotes.  I loved his writing and read through all his posts in the archives in a week or so.  From then on, I-Monk was at the top of my RSS reader.  His voice seemed at times like the only sane one in the evangelical wilderness.  He made me cry with his struggles and honesty.  He did not hide his struggles.  Sometimes he used words that I had to look up in a dictionary.  He was a genius and if I had to guess, a workaholic.  In all his posts were “yes!” moments.  You know, when your head suddenly moves up and down as you agree with him.  Jesus was at the center of His life and he knew the church inside and out.  He knew grace and perhaps that’s why he spoke so easily into our hearts.  Brokenness connects with brokenness.  Messy understands a mess.  And he was a voice for the voiceless.

There are lots of things I do not understand, but the one thing I do not understand is why he could not be longer with us.  I know I’m selfish when asking, but we needed his voice in the church.  I do not know of a similar voice.  But then again, most of my faith “heroes” could have been with us a little longer than they were.  Keith Green, Rich Mullins, Mike Yaconelli all died too soon.   When Mike Yaconelli died, my wife had to hold me.  I cried like a baby.  With I-Monk it’s different.  I have been mourning the loss of his voice from the time I heard he had cancer.  Now I mourn him as a person and I think I will mourn Michael Spencer for a very long time.  He was a daily reminder that Jesus loves.  And yes, if you are wondering, he is now on my “heroes” list.  He would in all likelihood not agree with me.   Tough, I’m still on this side of the curtain.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends.  Their loss is so much more than mine.  Thank you, Father, for the privilege of reading I-Monk all these years.

Michael Spencer (I-Monk)