Prone to wander

John Acuff at Stuff Christians like talked on my birthday about a worship leader that changed the words of an old hymn.  The original words that were changed were these….

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

He changed it to a more victorious “Prone to worship, prone to praise.”

Why is it that we have the compulsion to equate God with success?  We are currently going to a medium sized congregation and the message Sunday after Sunday is “God will make things better”  And don’t get me wrong, I know God is with the leaders and the members of that congregation.  But I struggle with that kind of message severely.  Perhaps it’s because it’s one side of the coin and that side is held up every Sunday for everybody to see.  I believe that this causes the church a lot of harm.  Perhaps it’s because discipleship is mostly absent from the church.  With discipleship you see the mess.  Feel the frustration.  Experience the doubt.  Sense the pain.  Enjoy the laughter.   Guess what the hell is going on.  Practice boredom.  Wasting time.  Prone to wander……etc. etc.

Perhaps it’s just me.  It’s sometimes easier to not believe.  Then we don’t have to struggle with a God that’s not doing His part.  I am His child and I want good things to happen but it seems that He is absent from all my good plans.  Complain, grieve, lament, moan, mourn, regret, sing the blues, weeping.  Do we have to do these things away from Sunday’s?  Where nobody can see us?  Is Sunday the victorious day and all the other the real life days?  Could be.  Perhaps I’m out of sync.

John ends his post by saying the following.

We tell each other we’re not prone to wander.
We act like our days of falling down are forever behind us.
And we create environments where no one can be honest.
You can’t share your whole life with somebody when the expectation is that you don’t fail.
You can only share the victories. And if you don’t have any victories that day or week, you better act like you do. Because as a Christian, you shouldn’t be prone to wander. And if you have, you just might not be a real Christian after all.

I love Jesus.  That is why I struggle with Him every day.  You can join me whenever you want to 🙂


4 thoughts on “Prone to wander

  1. I agree with you! 100%. I am so prone to WANDER. I am not prone to praise. I would love to be, but I am not! I am struggling daily, BECAUSE I love Jesus. I doubt, I wonder what He really meant. I do not see only victory and only people prospering in the Bible. And I agree that the message that most churches give these days of ” God making things better all the time” is doing a lot of harm.

    I also agree totally with your statement: It’s sometimes easier not to believe, because of the fact that when the message the church proclaim as the truth of He always makes things better, I struggle when it doesn’t happen in my life. I struggle with a lot of doubt! BUT I still love Jesus, and I struggle with Him,

    The only thing I have learnt in my struggle these past few weeks is that in the wilderness called “Sin” God tested His flock and every time they murmured, complained, grumbled against Moses (the Leadership) and against God. They wished to go back to Egypt and God came through every time, BUT the testing of their faith NEVER stopped. Every time a new test came along… He judged them and reprimanded them only after the covenant they made with them where they answered : “They will be His people.” BUT still He tested them… In other words – things did not always get better. I am doing a course of Walk through the Bible at the moment: “The testing of your faith” – so this is why I am saying all this…

    I do agree with your last statements as well – we (people in church) tell each other that we are not prone to wander. And then when I realise I am prone toe wandering I always wonder if all the other people are also just acting or if I am the only one struggling. SO true – we create environments where no one can be honest. And what I have found is that when I am honest about my struggling people are always shocked and silent. The “real” Christians – and I don’t even like the term Christian, so I will say the people I find to be honest and truthful, will all agree that they love Jesus, but that they have a daily struggle. I find that I can only relate to them. People who are shocked when I am honest about my struggle, I can’t relate to.

    Facebook – fakebook. A lot of us, including myself will paint a picture of bliss and happiness and it is not always the case.

    I agree – WE are only aloud to share the victories and victories are sometimes only a victory after a struggle and sometimes I feel I just keep struggling and that there is no room for mistakes. So we all battle in silence! AND THANK you for saying that if you don’t have victory EVERY DAY OR WEEK you have to act like you do. Sometimes I struggle with things for years. Some of my struggles are still not resolved! BUT because of this fake world, I act as if it is!

    I love Jesus and I struggle. It hurts when I feel others judging me and then I judge them right back, and I struggle. And at some stage I used to work at a “church” school as a teacher. I felt judged everyday, as they all acted the whole day. I resigned and for two years I doubted myself and Jesus as I thought: “Why am I not that perfect.” Now I just believe they were not honest. I have overcome the judging them, but I still believe if people were really honest they would share the fact that they struggle. Many Sundays when I return from church, I struggle with the same thing. Why are there always just smiling faces. Maybe because those like me who have many struggling days, stay home because they cannot face the smiling faces when they feel so torn inside, so they rather stay home and struggle alone than to feel judged and more depressed and alone!

    • Hi Annelize, I can totally relate to what you are sharing. It seems to me that I can go from surety to doubting in seconds. I don’t like it, but it’s whats currently happening in my life. I love Jesus, but I have trust issues and perhaps one day love will drown the doubt 🙂 (probably in heaven) Thanks for sharing your road with us.

    • Hi Barb, I’m glad you are still reading 🙂 …and around. I will probably write a little more from now on, but still not to much. The internet is too full of words for me 🙂

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